INDEFINITELY spacious (nonphysical) TOTAL lack of sunlight! Avoided by most cryptids, but occasional Batsquatch sightings have been reported in the area. Accidentally furnished.

$2k/mo + utilities + 1 untarnished soul

Have you or a loved one been personally victimized by the whims of the stars? Fight back! Join our primal scream workshop, held in the old cemetery every tuesday morning. Limit of 3 leos per session.

Guaranteed catharsis or full reimbursement!!

The heat wave warnings? Ignored. Our hydration status? Critically low. Getting lost and almost dying on the marsupial reserve? Surprisingly romantic.

My heart? STOLEN, call me asap at (360) 427-XXXX

DO NOT play after midnight - STILL STUCK in the Tommy Bahama Steakhouse bathroom, BOTH wife AND gf left me, think i owe the IRS like 60k??? Want it gone!!

No lowballers, it's a good mix.

Assistant TO the regional nutmeg wholesaler. MUST have a nutmeg wholesaler vibe. No experience necessary, no pay available!

Branzino mongers need not apply.

Formerly charming lawn ornaments suddenly overwhelming your property? Neighbors starting to worry about their missing livestock? Hearing mischievous giggles late at night? We get it! Let us carefully re-home each Gnome.

All temperaments accomodated (stubborn/bloodthirsty +$5 per Gnome) Fae negotiations subject to terms & conditions.

Certified by THEE ASSOCIATION